have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
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Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.