And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves