I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet