'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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