anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
