I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
