they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
