I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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