i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
