Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
