This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize