Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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