thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
