But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
