You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize