No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
