i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
