You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
