38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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