piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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