The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.