It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
