So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part