And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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