Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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