good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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