I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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