I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
