Screwed.edu
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
