i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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