My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize