People in love make me want to vomit
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
