apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
