Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize