id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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