Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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