Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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