i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
