its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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