You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
