Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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