Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
