I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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