You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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