dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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