I hate all girls vehemently.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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