so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
