You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
