Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.