I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
