i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.