clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize