People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
