I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
