I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
All I want is dick and wine.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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