If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Rumble strips road head = magical
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize