I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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