We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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