Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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