fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize