A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
