I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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