This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
