Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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