I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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