I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
